So typical of you to throw away what others go to extreme lengths to preserve - life itself. You threw away whatever privilege you had, and the comforts others hold so dear. There was nothing to take away after you died, you had so few possessions, and those were expendable. Nothing to tie you down. You quoted Camus:
"Beauty is unbearable, drives us
to despair, offering us for a minute the glimpse of an eternity that we
should like to stretch out over the whole of time."
I wish you could have borne it a little longer, for my sake. But I understand that you couldn't.