I don't dream of him often, but when I do I feel like I was really with him.
This one was the other night: he came home with a tattoo on his face - temple and forehead. He had tried
to cover it with makeup and I started wiping it off. Something about
20 or 22 days, to do with Sudan. He was 17 by my calculations and this
time I didn't let it go. I marched him to the tattoo place, which was
in an apartment, like a doctor's office and threatened to sue them.
They didn't seem too perturbed. Then he was in a hospital bed,
presumably to have it removed. He was really skinny, his ribs were
sticking out of his chest. He wasn't mad at me, but I felt bad about
causing him additional pain with the removal.
This one was five weeks ago: I was with him and it was now. I think my mother was there, too, but
we went out, me and him and this is the only part of the dream that I
remember. It was dark outside. We went to a girl's house.
Everything was kind of dingy - the place, as well as our clothes. He
was wearing something like pajama bottoms, or loose thermals - two
layers of them. At her place, the girl had some white powder out and
she casually snorted it. I thought it was cocaine. He had some, too. I
didn't, but I didn't try to stop him. It seemed like it was not a big
deal. When we left, the bottom of the wooden staircase was blown out,
so we had to get down from the first landing which wasn't too high,
about chest-level, but I wondered how we had gone up. Then we went to
some kind of club. Before that, I noticed that he was now wearing
pants, but I was wearing the pajama bottoms and I thought it would be
best to change. I had my yoga pants and I thought that would look more
decent, but I ended up wearing jeans under a dress. When we got to the
club I thought they were going to ask us for IDs and I realized I had
left my wallet behind. I told him that and he laughed and said "don't
worry, I have money." They let us in. The club was kind of dingy,
too. He seemed at ease in this world. I felt it was a place where I could be with him.