The pain that had escalated when I came back from abroad has curiously receded. I'm not sure when it first disappeared - it is like with hiccoughs - how do you know which one is the last one, until they have stopped for a while - but it's into the weeks now. Sometimes when I wake I even probe around for the pain, I know how it would feel, I feel its echo, yet, no, it doesn't come.
About a week ago I had an unsettling dream. I was in a sewing contest (yes, like the reality TV show) but then my son's corpse was there and I noticed he had a cut on his finger (in reality he did have some nicks on his hands, but his was a larger one). I started sewing up the cut. His flesh was supple, but it didn't bleed, yet though I knew he couldn't feel it I winced at each prick. That may be when I lost the pain, when I was numbed to it.
Later in the dream I regretted using the needle. I should have glued it, I thought, like they did the cut on his scalp when he was little and his friend made him jump off the piano.
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